All I can say about this sorry bunch of twats is omigod!! How they are not in chapter 7 is beyond belief. They remind me of GM execs and then several shades of shit to the pale deeper.

My dad bought me ticket to go see him over christmas as I just graduated high school. I had to travel from George in the Western Province of South Africa to San Francisco.

First they tell you the flight is direct from Cape Town to JFK (1st lie), then they tell you the flight from JFK to SFO is the same plane as the one you were on from Cape Town (2nd lie), then they tell you that u do not need to get off the plane on JFK to go through customs (3rd lie), then they tell you the 1 hour 20 minutes layover in JFK is plenty of time as its the same plane and u can stay on the plane while it re-fuels (4th lie), then when it becomes clear the equipment in JFK for SFO is different they tell you that u do in fact have to go through customs in JFK and 1 hr 20 minutes is plenty of time (5th lie – took 4 hours), then they tell you that if you miss the connection they will put you on another airline to SFO (6th lie), then they tell you, when you are stranded in JFK “Fuck dude, you missed your connection – you’re fucked” and absolve themselves of their carrier contract (a ticket to you and me), then they tell you the next flight to SFO they have a seat for you is in 10 days, see you then (un-freakin believable), then when my dad throws his toys and pram out of the plot they miraculously find a seat for me on the 4:44 PM flight, which mysteriously for a direct flight stops in Salt Lake city to re-fuel for 2 hours. In the meantime for the folks on the ground in SFO waiting for you, there is no update, no information, nothing. Their website just says “diverted”. Calls to the twats at Delta for status end in more confusion – they do not even know where their own freaking equipment is – un-freaking believable. I had left africa and seemed to have arrived back in africa, but they were pretending it was the USA…..Not even bananna republic Africans are this incompetent…..thank god I did not travel with any luggage, I would never have seen it again.

Return trip from SFO to Cape Town. Boy what a circus. By now I have two fine pieces of luggage. Both Carry On – as I have ZERO faith they will route it back. I look at my ticket and notice, hey, my layover on JFK is 55 minutes for the connecting flight to Dakar (panic) and my dad goes apeshit with them on the phone. So then we route through Atlanta with a 2 hour 5 minutes layover (better) then we notice the connecting flights are in Dakar with less than an hour layover and I am wondering, ok how can they switch passengers and bags from the JHB flight to the Cape Town Flight in that time? I checked in my “airline carry-on” as they apparently cannot take 20x15x9 roll on luggage (6th lie) and am at the mercy of Delta incompetence. Amazingly they pull the Dakar switch off, passengers and luggage with a 30 minute delay while passengers on 34 switch to 128 with their luggage. Turns out there was 28 minutes to do this as we were delayed by 30 in Atlanta(panic). But they held 128 back for us. My dad was looking at this flight info and making lists for the insurarance claims.

I almost missed my return flight to Atlanta as we arrived at SFO at 3:15 AM for a 6 AM Domestic flight and had to wait 2 hours 31 minutes in a queue while dipshits with IQ’s of dead warthogs pretended to be competent and check us in. I just got on the plane as they were boarding and there were quite a few Atlanta Bound folks behind us who were cussing delta assholes in the queue who were not on the flight.

I will NEVER fly Delta ever again, and I will tell everyone about this adventure into new standards of incompetence that I possibly can. I am 19, but I am sure I can tell at least 200-300 thousand people of this tale of woe, my podcast will carry the story and maybe even local TV will want to hear this one. My dad will put it on his two websites (he is sooo pissed)

My dad flies on SouthWest only in the US and if he is forced, United, but tells me United is almost as bad as Delta. I find this interesting in contrast to African Banana republic airline operators who actually seem to know what they are doing in comparison. 

I have had the myth of US competence seriously busted as pertains to the airline industry and have a new found faith in Africa. We are not that bad after all.

Lufthansa for me from now on.

“Amandhla, Nkosi Sikelel iAfrica!!”